J.E.A.L.O.U.S

Celia is 6 years old.  Two weekends ago her little friend spent the night.  We have a rule/guideline that when she spends the night Celia sleeps on the top bunk and when Celia spends the night at her house, her friend sleeps on her top bunk.  (Top bunk at your home) Well Celia had hurt her ankle so I made her sleep on the bottom bunk to keep ice on her foot.  Needless to say, this caused a huge fuss from Celia.  Celia is what I call a HSC (highly sensitive child).  She is not an easy-going little person- she loves passionately and she hurts hugely.  God has blessed her with an incredible sensitivity to other people's feelings and pain, but she also is incredibly emotional.  A lot of the time, I do not know how to parent  her.  In this case, she became inconsolable even though her foot really hurt and she should not have been going up and down her ladder.  We got out our feelings chart so she could share with us how she was feeling and she promptly picked the face picture for jealous.  It was a word we had not talked about before, but it was definitely how she felt.  


After this incident, I started to think about jealousy.  Jealousy does not end with childhood.  The bible says not to covet your neighbor's wife (husband) or goods.  Easy-right?  HA!  Without even realizing how, that little black finger of jealousy can slip into my mind, turning my heart pitch black.  I can always feel this happening, and when it does, do I turn my thoughts to GOD, asking him to guide them?  NO, I start to wallow in my black-hearted jealousy pretending that I have a right to anything.  It shames me to say, but people I normally love and cherish get torn apart in my mind just because of that one little word J.E.A.L.O.U.S.  It has to be the worst feeling in the world!  I completely agree with Celia when she said, "Mom, I don't want to feel jealous."  So, why does the Lord let us feel this way?  I can understand other emotions: joy, sadness, despair, contentment, even anger- but jealousy?  It seems so pointless.  In the end, I think Chris Tomlin's lyrics are the reason why we as humans can experience jealousy.  When that black finger of jealousy starts to tap on your mind, God wants us to realize that HE is enough.  For every thirst and every need, He satisfies my every need.  Jealousy can be an awesome avenue for dependence on GOD.  The key is recognizing when it starts and praising HIM for meeting your every need, realizing that you are precious in HIS sight and more than enough for HIM.  So easy to say, so hard to to, but I am challenging myself try it.  After all, most positive changes aren't easy, but this one would be worth it.